John’s Phone, I'm almost cool enough for you

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world's simplest cell phone

John’s Phone is the world’s most basic cell phone. John’s Phone allows you to make and receive calls anywhere in the world: no frills and no unnecessary features such as a camera, text messaging and an endless number of ringtones. John’s Phone keeps things simple - JohnsPhones.com

Soon I will be cool enough to ditch the iPhone and take it back to the basics, but until then I can live vicariously through those of you that have the will power to stop texting and emailing.